Key points
- Shock, fear and confusion after hearing you have cancer are normal; you do not have to make every decision on the same day [4, 2].
- Ask your doctor to write down the exact name of your cancer and its stage; these two things decide your treatment options [2].
- In some cancers, special tests on a tumour sample show which medicine is likely to work best; ask whether you need them [5].
- Getting a second opinion is very common, and most doctors welcome it [3].
- Once your treatment plan is ready, do not put off starting it without a good reason; in studies, even a one-month delay was linked to slightly worse results [8].
- If you might want children in the future, ask about protecting your fertility before treatment starts [12].
I have just been diagnosed with cancer: is it normal to feel like this?
When you first hear that you have cancer, it is normal to feel that your life is out of control. You may feel scared, angry or sad, or simply confused. These feelings can change from day to day, or even from hour to hour [4].
Most people feel better when they know more about their illness and its treatment: they feel less afraid and know better what to expect [4]. So ask questions, and say so whenever you do not understand something. If thinking about cancer all the time feels too heavy, it is fine to sometimes think about other things and do things you enjoy [4].
Today your chances of living with cancer, and beyond it, are better than ever, and millions of people who have had cancer are alive today [4]. To learn which cancers can be cured, read Can cancer be cured?
Just diagnosed with cancer, now what? Step by step
- 1
Know the exact name of your cancer and its stage
Ask your doctor or nurse to write down the name and stage of your cancer. The stage tells how big the tumour is and how far it has spread in the body. Knowing these two things helps you learn more about your illness and helps your doctor choose your treatment options [2]. For what these terms mean, see cancer stages, cancer grade and the guide how to read a pathology report.
- 2
Ask whether special tests on the tumour are needed
Each cancer has its own pattern of genes and proteins. Some treatments, such as targeted medicines and immunotherapy, work only in cancers that have certain changes. In some cancers, such as some types of lung cancer, breast cancer and bowel cancer, these tests are done routinely to choose treatment [5]. Before treatment starts, ask whether you need them; see also the article chemotherapy or targeted therapy?
- 3
Take someone with you and take notes
Ask a family member or friend to come to your appointments with you; they can listen, take notes and ask questions. Write your questions down beforehand and ask the most important ones first. You can ask whether you may record the conversation. If you do not understand something, ask for it to be explained in simpler words, and repeat back what you heard in your own words [2].
- 4
Keep all your records in one folder
Keep your biopsy (pathology) report, scan reports and images, test results and a list of your medicines in one folder, and take it to every appointment. If you want another doctor's opinion, they will need to see all of these records [3]. Get the name and phone number of someone on your care team, so you know who to call if a question comes up [2].
- 5
Ask when treatment needs to start
Ask your doctor when your treatment needs to start [1]. Sometimes more tests are needed before treatment so that the right treatment can be chosen [5]. But once your treatment plan is ready, do not delay it without a good reason: in a review of studies of more than one million patients with seven common cancers, in most cases each month of delay in starting surgery, cancer medicines or radiotherapy was linked to a slightly higher risk of death [8]. See the article complete, on-time, uninterrupted treatment.
- 6
Ask about having children before treatment
Some cancer treatments can affect your ability to have children. If you might want children in the future, or you are not sure yet, ask your doctor now, before treatment starts [1, 12]. Options such as freezing sperm, eggs or embryos need to be considered before treatment, and your doctor can refer you to a fertility specialist [12]. See the guide fertility and sex during cancer treatment.
- 7
Tell your doctor about your medicines and supplements
Tell your doctor about every medicine you take and any supplement, such as vitamins, minerals, herbal products or fish oil, and ask whether any of them could change how your cancer treatment works [1].
Your first oncology appointment: questions to ask the oncologist
| Topic | Questions |
|---|---|
| Diagnosis | What type of cancer do I have exactly, and what stage is it? Has it spread to other parts of my body? [2] |
| Treatment options | What treatments are there for my type and stage of cancer? What are the benefits and risks of each? Which one do you recommend, and why? [1] |
| Timing and course of treatment | When does treatment need to start? Where and how is it given? How many sessions are there, and how long does each one take? Will I need to stay in hospital? [1] |
| Results of treatment | What is my chance of recovery with this treatment? How will we know whether the treatment is working? [1] |
| Side effects | What side effects might I have? Which ones should I report to you straight away? Are there any lasting side effects? Will treatment affect my ability to have children? [1] |
| Daily life | Will I be able to work? Should someone come with me? Will my appetite or eating change? [1] |
| Doctors and second opinions | Which specialists do I need to see? Will you help me get another doctor's opinion? Is there a research study that might be right for me? [1] |
You do not need to ask all of these questions at one visit; ask the most important ones first, and if you have many questions, ask for more time [2].
Tell your doctor how you like to hear news: all at once or bit by bit, with all the details or just the main points. Also tell them which family members or friends they may share your information with [2]. If you want to ask about your chances of recovery, the page how long do people with cancer live? helps you make sense of these numbers.
What is a tumour board?
A tumour board (also called a multidisciplinary team meeting) is a meeting where doctors from different specialties, such as a surgeon, a cancer specialist (oncologist) and a radiotherapy specialist, review a patient's case together to make sure the diagnosis and stage are right and to choose the best treatment plan. In many treatment centres around the world this is routine [9].
In studies, patients whose cases were reviewed at such a meeting generally had a lower risk of death, although the size of this benefit varied a great deal from study to study [9]. You can ask your doctor whether your case will be discussed at a tumour board.
Getting a second opinion on cancer: will my doctor mind?
A second opinion means asking another specialist to review all your records and give their view on your diagnosis and treatment plan. This is very common. Some patients worry that their doctor will be offended, but usually the opposite is true: most doctors welcome a second opinion [3]. A second opinion gives you more information and helps you make decisions with more confidence [3].
In studies, a second opinion often confirmed the original diagnosis or treatment, and in some cases changed something in the diagnosis or treatment plan; most patients found it helpful and reassuring [10].
For a second opinion, ask your first doctor to make your records available to you [3]. Get it early, before treatment starts, so that treatment is not delayed without reason [8].
How do I tell my family I have cancer?
Who you tell, when and how much is your decision; do what feels right for you and do not compare yourself with others [4]. Some people cope by turning to their loved ones, or to other people who have had cancer, for support [4]. Your family and friends may share some of the same feelings [4].
- Tell your care team which family members or friends may know your medical information [2].
- If talking with your family about your illness is hard, ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor or psychologist [4].
- For talking with children, see the guide how do I talk to my children about my cancer?
- For work and your workplace, see the guide returning to work and daily life.
- The person who cares for you can read the guide for family members and caregivers.
Where can I find reliable information about cancer?
After a diagnosis, many people search the internet and social media or hear advice from people around them. In one study of 200 popular social media articles about treating four common cancers, about a third contained wrong information, and most of these wrong articles could harm patients. They were also seen and shared more than accurate articles [11].
- Talk with your doctor about any advice you have heard or read; some advice is wrong or misleading, or does not apply to you [2].
- Before taking any new medicine or supplement, ask your doctor whether it could change how your cancer treatment works [1].
- Use reliable medical sources; the pages on this site are based on medical studies and guidelines, with their sources listed.
When should I contact my doctor?
Until your treatment starts, contact your care team in these situations:
- New weakness in an arm or leg, difficulty walking, new numbness or tingling, or loss of control of your bladder or bowels, especially with back pain. These signs can be caused by cancer pressing on the spinal cord and are an emergency: contact your care team straight away or go to the emergency department [7].
- Severe back pain that keeps getting worse, gets worse when you cough, sneeze or strain, or keeps you awake at night; tell your doctor within 24 hours [7].
- If you have felt sad, hopeless or uninterested in everything for more than 2 weeks, talk to your doctor; depression can be treated [4]. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, call your local emergency number straight away.
- If you were supposed to be contacted about an appointment or test and have not heard anything, ask who you should contact [6].
In any emergency, such as severe shortness of breath, chest pain, heavy bleeding or loss of consciousness, call your local emergency number. If you have started chemotherapy, see the guide fever and warning signs after chemotherapy.
Frequently asked questions
Does being referred to an oncologist mean I have cancer?
Not necessarily. Doctors sometimes refer people to a specialist for a closer look when cancer is suspected, and most people referred this way turn out not to have cancer [6]. To learn how a biopsy is done and how long the results take, read what is a biopsy?
How long can I wait before starting treatment? Is waiting a few weeks risky?
This depends on the type and stage of your cancer, so ask your own doctor [1]. Sometimes more tests are needed before treatment so that the right treatment can be chosen [5]. But once the plan is ready, an unnecessary delay is not good: in studies, in most cases each month of delay in starting treatment was linked to a slightly higher risk of death [8].
What should I do if the second opinion differs from my first doctor's opinion?
Do I have to tell everyone that I have cancer?
Is it all right to ask my doctor lots of questions?
Related pages
The first weeks after diagnosis (for doctors)
Show detailsHide
- Treatment delay: systematic review and meta-analysis of 34 studies (1,272,681 patients; 17 surgical, systemic and radiotherapy indications in bladder, breast, colon, rectal, lung, cervical and head and neck cancers): the association between delay and mortality was significant for 13 of 17 indications. For each 4-week delay, the HR for death was 1.06–1.08 for surgery (colectomy 1.06; 95% CI 1.01 to 1.12; breast surgery 1.08; 1.03 to 1.13), 1.01–1.28 for systemic treatment and 1.09 (1.05 to 1.14) for radical radiotherapy of head and neck cancer [8].
- Tumour board (MDT): systematic review of 179 comparative studies; all 37 studies reporting multivariable HRs (56,187 patients) showed a lower risk of death after MDT review, but with high heterogeneity (HR 0.1 to 0.96; I2 87%). In the breast cancer subgroup the HR was 0.86 (0.79 to 0.93) and in hepatocellular carcinoma 0.82 (0.76 to 0.88); the evidence is observational [9].
- Second opinion: systematic review of 13 articles: 6.5–36% of patients seek a second opinion; diagnosis, treatment recommendation or prognosis changed in 12–69% of cases and the original diagnosis or treatment was confirmed in 43–82%; patient satisfaction was high, but data on patient-relevant outcomes are scarce [10].
- Fertility preservation (ASCO 2025): evaluate and counsel about reproductive risks at diagnosis; refer patients who are interested or uncertain to reproductive specialists and discuss options before cancer-directed therapy. Offer sperm cryopreservation to males before treatment and advise of the potentially higher risk of genetic damage in sperm collected soon after starting or completing therapy. For females: embryo, oocyte and ovarian tissue cryopreservation, ovarian transposition and conservative gynaecological surgery. GnRHa is not a substitute for established methods and may be offered as an adjunct in breast cancer [12]. Details: fertility preservation before cancer treatment.
- Referral for suspected cancer (NICE NG12): explain that the person is being referred to a cancer service and, where appropriate, reassure them that most people referred will not have cancer; discuss alternative diagnoses and give information on waiting times, tests, when results will be available and whom to contact if no appointment is confirmed [6].
- Spinal cord compression (NICE NG234): in a person with a past or current diagnosis of cancer, symptoms of cord compression (bladder or bowel dysfunction, gait disturbance, limb weakness, numbness or paraesthesia, radicular pain) are an oncological emergency; pain suggesting spinal metastases needs advice within 24 hours [7].
- Misinformation: of 200 popular social media articles on treatment of the four most common cancers, 32.5% contained misinformation and 30.5% harmful information; 76.9% of misinformation articles were harmful, and they had more engagement than factual articles (median 2300 vs 1600) [11]. Ask patients where they get their information.
- Before systemic treatment: molecular testing before treatment, hepatitis B screening and, in older adults, geriatric assessment.
References
12 referencesShow all references, 1 with a study cardClose the reference list
Numbers in the text, such as [1], refer to these sources. Sources with a “Study card” button are summarised in the site’s evidence library.
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This page is based on reputable scientific sources and was last updated on 28 October 2026. The content of this website is for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace consultation, diagnosis or treatment by a specialist physician. Consult your treating physician about any treatment decision.
Printed from the website; the full and up-to-date version: https://drdabiri.com/en/guides/just-diagnosed-with-cancer/